In what way should a child be brought up? You undoubtedly know someone who claims that their way is the finest remedy to this age-old dilemma. However, when you bring that new baby home, you may feel as though your primary obligation is to protect them from any harm — imagined or actual — that may arise.
Helicopter parenting, a derided parenting style that persists in the United States due to parents’ desire to ensure their children’s well-being and safety, may be a contributing factor. Being a helicopter parent may sometimes backfire and cause more harm than good. While the qualities of this parenting style may appear like one of the finest methods to raise happy, successful children.
What exactly is helicopter parenting?
Every parent wants happiness and prosperity for their children. So, who wouldn’t take advantage of the opportunity to make their child’s life simpler if given the chance? This is a natural response, but some parents go over and above by hovering like a helicopter over their children, hence the term.
The best way to define helicopter parenting (sometimes dubbed cosseting) is “hyper-involvement in a child’s life.” Free-range parenting promotes children’s freedom and self-reliance, whereas lawnmower parenting involves a parent “mowing down” any difficulties they could encounter so that their children never experience disappointment, sadness, or anger.
Although the phrase “helicopter parenting” has gained a lot of popularity in recent years, it is not new. Dr. Haim Ginott’s book “Between Parent and Teenager,” released in 1969, was the first to employ the notion.
What does it mean to be a helicopter parent?
Helicopter parenting may take various forms, such as watching over the shoulders of a teenager as they do their schoolwork or riding along behind a smaller child while they ride their bike. It’s a common misconception that depression only affects young adults, although it can begin much earlier in life and last well into adulthood. See what it looks like to be a helicopter parent at various stages of life.
Toddler
- Striving to prevent every little fall or avoiding age-appropriate hazards
- Preventing your youngster from playing alone at any time.
- Requesting regular updates on the children’s development from the preschool instructor
- Not fostering developmentally appropriate independence
Elementary school
- Interacting with school authorities to make sure the child obtains a specific teacher since they are viewed as the best
- Picking out a child’s pals
- Not letting them have a say in what they’re doing
- Completing your child’s schoolwork and assignments
- Refusing to allow the youngster tackle things on their own
Teen years and beyond
- Not permitting your child to make judgments that are acceptable for his or her age
- Being completely absorbed in their academic work and extracurricular interests to protect themselves from failure or disappointment
- Contacting their college lecturer to express their dissatisfaction with their grades
- Intervening in arguments with their co-workers, friends, or job
What are the reasons of helicopter parenting?
In certain cases, the reasons for helicopter parenting run far deeper than the surface level. Knowing this can help you see why someone (or yourself) feels compelled to be too active in the lives of their child. Among the causes for this might be:
Uncertainty over the future
Some parents feel that what their child accomplishes now will have a substantial influence on their upcoming years, and that helicoptering is a strategy for avoiding issues later in life. Being cut from a sports team, or not being accepted into the college of one’s choosing might cause a youngster to worry about his or her future.
Anxiety
When they see their kid angry or disappointed, some parents become concerned and emotional, and they will do everything they can to prevent this from happening. Children learn to cope with disappointment and pain in their lives, which is an important aspect of their development and their ability to bounce back from setbacks. Even as adults, many of us admit that going through a difficult time made us better people.
Looking for a sense of purpose
It’s also possible that helicopter parenting develops when a parent’s self-worth is entwined with their child’s achievements. They feel better about themselves as parents because their child is doing well.
Overcompensation
Perhaps the helicopter parent did not feel loved or safeguarded by their own parents and made a pledge to their kids that they would never feel that way again. This is a perfectly reasonable and even admirable sentiment. However, while this may help to stop a pattern of neglect, some parents go too far and give their children more attention than is necessary.
Peer pressure
Peer pressure isn’t only a problem for kids; it also affects adults. As a result, parents who are surrounded by helicopter parents may feel forced to emulate this style of parenting for fear of being seen as a bad parents if they don’t.
Takeaway
With every parenting style, it’s crucial to examine how it’ll affect your child now and in the future. Of course, every parent at some point has done a little more to make their child’s life easier. Helicopter parenting becomes a concern when it becomes the norm and interferes with a child’s healthy growth.
No question, you want the best for your child, but if you’re “helicopter parenting,” you may not be aware of it. So think about the person or the adult you want them to become, and then design your parenting style on this outcome. Taking a step back can relieve stress for both you and the people you’re trying to help.
